Jakarta, ThedailyID — Have you ever met someone who says, “It’s fine,” but acts like everything is not fine? A similar pattern can happen at work when someone agrees to a task but keeps delaying it.
This behavior is commonly known as passive-aggressive behavior. According to Verywell Mind, it involves actions that appear neutral, polite or ordinary while indirectly expressing aggression.
The behavior can leave others confused and frustrated. However, not every quiet person or someone who delays a task is necessarily passive-aggressive. A repeated pattern matters more than one isolated action.
Here are eight signs that may help you recognize it:
- Backhanded compliments
A passive-aggressive person may give compliments that contain a subtle insult. For example, someone might praise your haircut while adding that they had the same style years ago.
The comment sounds positive at first. However, it may carry an underlying message that puts you down.
- Using disclaimers before criticism
Some people soften criticism with phrases such as, “I don’t want to sound mean, but…” or “I’m not judging, but…”
The statement that follows may still be hurtful. The disclaimer can make the criticism appear more acceptable.
- Quietly sabotaging others
Passive-aggressive behavior can also appear through actions rather than words. Someone might deliberately withhold important information or cancel plans without giving enough notice.
They may later explain the behavior by saying they forgot or were too busy.
- Frequently delaying tasks
Repeatedly postponing a task can become a way to express disagreement without saying so directly. According to YourTango, this behavior can damage trust when it continues over time.
- Complaining about unfair treatment
Instead of expressing disagreement openly, someone may repeatedly portray themselves as the victim. They may say others demand too much or fail to understand them.
This approach can also shift attention away from the person’s own behavior.
- Avoiding clear answers
Responses such as “whatever,” “we’ll see” or “maybe” can leave others uncertain about what the person actually wants.
If the issue continues, they may even suggest that the other person misunderstood them.
- Ghosting
Ignoring messages or suddenly disappearing can also become a form of indirect communication. Someone who feels upset may choose silence instead of discussing the problem directly.
Still, occasional delayed replies do not automatically indicate passive-aggressive behavior.
- Keeping score of favors and mistakes
Some people mentally keep track of everything they have done for others. They may also remember mistakes they believe others made against them.
Later, they can bring up those past events to pressure or corner someone during an argument.
Recognizing these patterns can help people set clearer boundaries and communicate more directly. Most importantly, one behavior alone does not prove that someone is passive-aggressive.
